Am I Out of Touch?
Welcome to Am I Out of Touch? - the podcast where everyday annoyances, minor inconveniences, and completely irrational frustrations get the rant they deserve. From awkward social norms to pointless life admin, each episode asks the important question: is the world getting weirder, or am I just losing it?
Leave me some feedback or a rant you want aired at https://www.speakpipe.com/amioutoftouch - you never know you might get into a future episode!
Episodes
24 episodes
The School Run Tank
A bonus download to go with Driving Me Round the Bend: the vehicles built to ford rivers and tow horseboxes, now doing a four-minute trip to a school gate they can barely fit past. Alison asks why the school run got an arms race - and why...
Driving Round The Bend
Indicators are apparently optional now, caravans have declared the middle lane a personality trait, and somewhere out there a man in a woolly hat has put his convertible roof down in October and is not backing out of it. This week Alison ...
The Pumpkin Spice Proliferation
A bonus rant on pumpkin spice: the flavour that broke free from lattes and infested literally every product category on earth.Pumpkin spice lattes were fine. Seasonal. Normal. But then pumpkin spice stopped being a flavour and became a p...
August Halloween, September Christmas & October Exhaustion
Retail's broken the calendar, Christmas starts in September, and autumn is now a personality trait you're required to perform. Three reasons the year has collapsed into a series of algorithmic performance requirements: American Halloween arrivi...
Gravy Browning
A companion bonus to Baked, Belted and Bejewelled: fake tan has stopped being "a bit of colour" and become a full industrial process — mitts, barrier cream, a six-hour development window, and a failure rate that occasionally leaves a grow...
Baked, Belted and Bejewelled
Lashes so big they've got their own weather system. A skirt so short it's legally more of a belt. And nails so long they need a translator to place a phone call. This week Alison stares down three beauty trends that have quietly gone comp...
Hold Music Purgatory
"Your call is important to us." It isn't. And you know it isn't. This bonus rant tears into the recorded voice that lies to you every ninety seconds, the Vivaldi that never gets to finish a bar, and the person who finally answers forty-on...
Lol, Wait, What Did You Say?
Nobody's actually listening to anybody anymore, and this week I've got the evidence. First up: text speak, and the modern message that requires a decoder ring, a phone call, and a small prayer to understand. Then: selective hearing, or as I'm i...
Cutlery Crimes
If you enjoyed What Fork! here are the extra bits that didnt fit in the main episode; elbows on the table and eating with your mouth full - I ask you!
Which Fork?
Someone at a dinner table pointed their knife straight up in the air like they were about to knight a Yorkshire pudding — and that was the final straw. This week: the great cutlery confusion (outside in, people, it's not complicated), the corre...
Backpack Ballistics
Someone's rucksack just clipped me in the ribs like a wrecking ball on a bungee cord, and he didn't even notice. That's the mini rant today
Loungers, Lager and Louder English
Two bonus rants a week, subscribers only. Because apparently once a week isn't enough for me to be annoyed about things. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2625633/support...
Sole Searching
Two bonus rants a week, subscribers only. Because apparently once a week isn't enough for me to be annoyed about things. https://www.buzzsprout.com/2625633/suppor...
Not Ruled Out
Three words currently doing the rounds in every social care headline: "not ruled out." Not a yes. Not a no. Not even a maybe — just a sentence engineered to survive contact with a headline without technically promising anything to anyo...
Caps, Cheeks and the Beard Oil Isle
Get bonus rants! Become a subscriber and a bonus mini rant every month :https://www.buzzsprout.com/2625633/supportMen. Their heads. Their faces. What is happening. This week's episode is a deep dive into modern male grooming c...
One Guy, One Button
You need two-factor authentication for your online banking, but in several countries — including some very large ones — one person can legally launch nuclear weapons with no co-signature required. The verdict? It's not a personality probl...
Tray Chimp
McDonald's tables after people leave: upright chips, abandoned ketchup sachets, a wrapper folded into what can only be a mouse tent. The verdict? You carried a hot tray in fine — you can carry the empty wrappers eleven steps to a bin. Use...
Gate Expectations
You paid £400 for a ticket, and somehow you're still doing the airline's job for them. This week on Gate Expectations: printing your own boarding pass, wrestling a suitcase into submission at the Cage of Shame, and the eternal mystery of ...
Nine Lives, No Refund
Your cat isn't a pet, he's a landlord with fur. This episode, breaks down the true cost of loving a cat: the eleven-day wait for a vet appointment, the mysterious "clinical waste disposal charge," pet insurance that blames everythin...
Well Done
This episode takes on the holy trinity of British summer: vegan food that insists on impersonating meat, the sacred chaos of the back garden BBQ, and restaurants that charge £5.50 for a bowl of chips. Expect socks-in-sandals discourse, sm...
Strawberries, Tantrums and the audacity of beige
Don't get comfortable — because it is that time of year. The strawberries are overpriced. The queue started forming yesterday. Someone is already debating whether it counts as rain.It's Wimbledon.Now, I love Wimbledon. I want that...
Checkout Chaos
Checkout Chaos. Three stories. Three rants. One shared trauma we all have but nobody talks about enough. Self-service checkouts. How they started as a convenience, became a chore, and are now apparently a job inter...